How to Gradually Build Self-Confidence

2019-01-02 06.25.03 1.jpg

Insecurity is uncertainty and lack of self- confidence. People deal with their version of vulnerabilities everyday and its inevitable. I have lived my entire life being insecure and second-guessing everything I do. But, I have reached an age that I no longer want insecurity to define who I am. For so long, I have allowed it to consume me and bring me down, and for the first time, I am making progress and gradually building confidence.

My top three of my debilitating insecurities are:

  1. my body
  2. writing
  3. being comfortable taking photos.

Even though I am working on becoming confident, I will admit that it is hard. There will be days that you will feel insecure more than others, but those are the most important days that you’ll need to fight with your negative inner voice– let it know that you are not going to allow it to bring you down.

Below are five ways you can gradually develop self-confidence that has worked for me. One thing I advice is to be patient with yourself because building confidence is a journey, a transcendence to bettering who you are and what you are meant to be.

common-attributes-of-the-self-confident-1

Becoming aware and admitting to what makes you second guess yourself and feel insecure.

Admitting to having insecurities is hard for some people because to them, it is a sign of weakness, but it isn’t; it is an indication of strength. You are capable of making your life better; it all depends on fully acknowledging your capabilities and not bringing yourself down. Start telling yourself “I am capable.” instead of “I am incapable” or “I can’t.”

19_quotes-about-being-yourself-640x426

Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Author Jen Sincero in her book You are a bad Ass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life quotes, “Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life. ” Why? Because you are not living a unique life. Instead of being your leader, writing your script, you are a follower and letting others lead because you are comparing yourself to them and their life. It is not realistic; it isn’t you.

Use or Don’t use Social Media.

Use – If you are like me and are insecure about what others think about you, then social media is a great platform to help build your confidence. Posting what you want, regardless of what others think, can help you become more secure with yourself because you are showing the world who you are no matter what they think of you.

Don’t use – If you go to social media and continually comparing yourself to others, then I do not recommend using social media; give it a break.

Don’t care what others think of you, even people closest to you.

Why waste time and energy on thinking about what others think? Are they helping you better yourself? If not, don’t care.

Stay away from negative people.

I am going to share with you one of the best advice my mom said to me many times growing up: stay away from negative people. They are only content when knowing others are miserable. From what I have experienced in my twenty-seven years of life– my mother is right. I’ve even lost friends because of how harmful they view life. I couldn’t bear listening to constant negativity, so I distanced myself. If you have to do the same, do it!

20181211_134517.jpg

Gratitude Journals

Practicing gratitude is helpful because it gives a different perspective about yourself, and generally, on life.  You become more aware of who you are and able to appreciate the beauty in living abundantly. I recommend the following journals:

The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day – great for gratitude and accountability.

Start Today Journal by Rachel Hollis- best for motivation and setting goals.

Love yourself.

Loving yourself is an essential guideline because it is not possible to build confidence if you do not love yourself. Love yourself by doing things that positively benefits you and makes you better.

CONCLUSION

There is nothing better in life than living it the way you want and should. To do that, you have to build confidence and love yourself. Don’t waste time and as the author, Rachel Hollis says Start Today.

Reach out to me at glenys.boyne@gmail.com

4 Reasons and Ways to Practice Gratitude

2019-01-02 05.15.49 1.jpg

Now that we’ve reached the Holiday Season, the first being Thanksgiving, it is the perfect time to begin to practice gratitude. Gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return the kindness. It is correlated with optimism, which in turn makes us happy.

I began to practice gratitude recently. I am not sure why or how all a sudden I had the urge to practice gratitude, but it has been the most effective tool I’ve used so far to embrace who I am.

I urge that you begin to practice gratitude today! It is effortless and does not take much time or energy; however, it takes practice. I guarantee that once you do, you will see improvements in yourself– understand and appreciate life in a different way that you’ve never before.

Below I share four Reason and four ways to practice gratitude. I also include ten things I am grateful for and a simple 21 Days Challenge that I’ve tried when I first started to practice gratitude that takes less than 2 minutes each day to complete.

4 Ways to Reasons to Gratitude

1. Strengthens your awareness

The greatest gift you can give yourself is becoming consciously aware of the beauty and abundance in life. By practicing gratitude, you become aware of the present moment of what is happening right NOW. We learn the necessary acknowledgment that each moment of life is enough, no matter what experience, whether is pleasant or unpleasant.

2. Reduces the habit of complaining

“All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.” – Dennis Prage

People who complain often, don’t know that they are and have no control. Researchers found that our brains and bodies respond more to negativity than positivity, which is why people are prone to complain. Think about how often you complain in a day and what causes the adverse reaction or feeling. Gratitude is the antidote of negativity and complaining. By practicing gratitude, you are automatically able to reduce the habit of complaining by noticing every time you whine and asking yourself, why am I complaining? Is it worth my energy? What are the things at this moment (right now) that I am grateful?

3. Improves your health:

4. Makes you a happier person

Gratitude leads to a more sustainable form of happiness because it is not based on immediate gratification; its a frame of mind. It is an attitude and a way of living that makes you conscious of the simple things. It can even lead you to appreciate all living things nature that makes the earth a livable environment for us humans to live.

4 Ways to Practicing Gratitude

Please note that the list below is in order in the way I started to work on becoming grateful.


1. Writing in a journal daily about the things you are thankful for.

Writing in a journal about the things you are grateful is easy. The hard part is remembering to do it every day and being consistent. After searching for many journals online, the best one I’ve found is The Five Minute Journal. By merely writing three things you are thankful for every day, you will gradually see how much in life there is to appreciate.

 2. Read books about Personal Development


Reading books about personal development can help you form a better understanding of its benefits, providing you with inspirational examples and suggestions of ways you can become grateful. I recommend the following books:

3. Meditation and Mindfulness

It has been found that meditation can reliably increase feelings of gratitude. Practicing meditation every day helps promote a positive mood, hope, and resilience. As we experience positive emotions, our awareness broadens, and our creativity and problem-solving capacities blossom, and we become more effective in whatever we choose to do in life.

4. Expressing and Sharing Gratitude

The ability to consistently experience gratitude is both a cultivated skill and a gift – one that must be shown and shared with others over and over again to realize its full power. You can express and share gratitude by:

  • Being an active listener
  • Being thoughtful to others
  • Being a support system
  • Volunteering your time
  • Saying Thank You

CONCLUSION

Gratitude is a significant component of experiencing happiness. It is a selfless act that is worth practicing because it helps you find meaning in life– your life’s purpose. After reading this blog, start today, start now, and I promise that you will begin to appreciate the simplicity of life and evolve to a happier and healthier person.

10 THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR:

  1. Who I am.
  2. My awesome-strong mother.
  3. My amazing and loving husband.
  4. My job working at the Rubin Museum of Art.
  5. My website and blog.
  6. My best friend, Amy.
  7. My demanding boss whose personality I love.
  8. Paying off my debt.
  9. Living in Astoria, NY.
  10. Living life!

21 Days Challenge

Have trouble listing what you are grateful for? Below I share 21 Days Challenge to start you off!

Day 1 – What sound am I grateful for today?

Day 2 – What color am I grateful for?

Day 3 – What smell am I grateful for?

Day 4 – What texture am I grateful for?

Day 5 – What season am I grateful for?

Day 6 – What in nature am I grateful for?

Day 7 – What emotion am I grateful for?

Day 8 – Who in my life am I grateful for?

Day 9 – What song am I grateful for?

Day 10 – What about my body am I grateful for?

Day 11 – What abilities am I grateful for?

Day 12 – What about my surroundings am I grateful for?

Day 13 – What relationship am I grateful for?

Day 14 – What material possession am I grateful for?

Day 15 – What moment this week am I grateful for?

Day 16 – What about today am I grateful for?

Day 17 – What tradition am I most grateful for?

Day 18 – What hobby am I most grateful for?

Day 19 – What about me am I most grateful for?

Day 20 – What about life am I most grateful for?

Day 21 – What challenge am I grateful for?

Other Related Blogs:

10 Ways To Find Your Purpose

How to Gradually Build Self-Confidence

New Year’s Resolution: Dream Big, Set Goals, Take Action!

10 Reasons Reading Everyday is Important