How to Gradually Build Self-Confidence

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Insecurity is uncertainty and lack of self- confidence. People deal with their version of vulnerabilities everyday and its inevitable. I have lived my entire life being insecure and second-guessing everything I do. But, I have reached an age that I no longer want insecurity to define who I am. For so long, I have allowed it to consume me and bring me down, and for the first time, I am making progress and gradually building confidence.

My top three of my debilitating insecurities are:

  1. my body
  2. writing
  3. being comfortable taking photos.

Even though I am working on becoming confident, I will admit that it is hard. There will be days that you will feel insecure more than others, but those are the most important days that you’ll need to fight with your negative inner voice– let it know that you are not going to allow it to bring you down.

Below are five ways you can gradually develop self-confidence that has worked for me. One thing I advice is to be patient with yourself because building confidence is a journey, a transcendence to bettering who you are and what you are meant to be.

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Becoming aware and admitting to what makes you second guess yourself and feel insecure.

Admitting to having insecurities is hard for some people because to them, it is a sign of weakness, but it isn’t; it is an indication of strength. You are capable of making your life better; it all depends on fully acknowledging your capabilities and not bringing yourself down. Start telling yourself “I am capable.” instead of “I am incapable” or “I can’t.”

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Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Author Jen Sincero in her book You are a bad Ass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life quotes, “Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life. ” Why? Because you are not living a unique life. Instead of being your leader, writing your script, you are a follower and letting others lead because you are comparing yourself to them and their life. It is not realistic; it isn’t you.

Use or Don’t use Social Media.

Use – If you are like me and are insecure about what others think about you, then social media is a great platform to help build your confidence. Posting what you want, regardless of what others think, can help you become more secure with yourself because you are showing the world who you are no matter what they think of you.

Don’t use – If you go to social media and continually comparing yourself to others, then I do not recommend using social media; give it a break.

Don’t care what others think of you, even people closest to you.

Why waste time and energy on thinking about what others think? Are they helping you better yourself? If not, don’t care.

Stay away from negative people.

I am going to share with you one of the best advice my mom said to me many times growing up: stay away from negative people. They are only content when knowing others are miserable. From what I have experienced in my twenty-seven years of life– my mother is right. I’ve even lost friends because of how harmful they view life. I couldn’t bear listening to constant negativity, so I distanced myself. If you have to do the same, do it!

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Gratitude Journals

Practicing gratitude is helpful because it gives a different perspective about yourself, and generally, on life.  You become more aware of who you are and able to appreciate the beauty in living abundantly. I recommend the following journals:

The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day – great for gratitude and accountability.

Start Today Journal by Rachel Hollis- best for motivation and setting goals.

Love yourself.

Loving yourself is an essential guideline because it is not possible to build confidence if you do not love yourself. Love yourself by doing things that positively benefits you and makes you better.

CONCLUSION

There is nothing better in life than living it the way you want and should. To do that, you have to build confidence and love yourself. Don’t waste time and as the author, Rachel Hollis says Start Today.

Reach out to me at glenys.boyne@gmail.com

5 Ways to Motivate and Inspire You to Make a Change in Your Career!

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One of the hardest adult decisions I’ve made was deciding to leave a career I’d thought I was meant to do. In 2016, I enrolled in the gruesome New York City Teaching Fellows. It’s a program that brings career changers and recent graduate students into NYC classrooms to teach critical-need subject areas, including English, special education, and math.

I decided to join the NYCTF in 2016 because I’d thought I was meant to be a teacher–it was my favorite game to play as a child. After six weeks, of what seemed like hell, I passed and completed the program and got a job at a school in the South Bronx to teach sixth grade Engish. But after six months, I resigned from my position as a teacher and fellow.

I quit because I was unhappy and knew from the first week I’d begun the fellowship, but couldn’t admit it, partly because I’d left a great job at the Metropolitan Museum of Art to become a teacher. I thought that if I gave it a chance, I’d eventually like it. Over time, I developed insomnia, hardly ate, and had constant anxiety.

Deciding to quit was hard, but it was the best decisions I made. For the first time, I made a decision that felt right. Imagine if I’d kept a career that made me miserable for the rest of my life because of fear of quitting and starting over?

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Fear is a big factor for the reason why many remain in a job that is terrible. But, there is nothing scarier than staying in a profession that makes you unhappy. Yes, having a secure job is essential, but doing something that matters to you and passionate about is a fantastic aspiration and experience.

Below are five ways to motivate and inspire you to make a change in your career and life.

1. Make a list of things you like and dislike about your current job.

Making a list can give you a definitive perspective. If your con list surpasses the pro, it means that you may have to make necessary changes to your career.

2. Take a moment and ask yourself:

What would make me happy? What do I imagine myself doing? What motives me? What are my passions?

3. Follow your instincts.

Instinct allows you to get the first warning signs when anything is off in your body so that you can address it. If you have a gut feeling about your body — that something is toxic, weak or ‘off’ — listen to it. Chances are, you know the answer to what would make you happy.

4. Do not let fear hold you back.

Living in fear is dangerous. If you live in fear, you are not living at all because it is not allowing you to experience life. It is making you a pessimist because you are hiding from the world and overthinking the worst. Ask yourself, are you going to let fear make you cynical and define who you are? NO!

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5. Change is necessary!

Part of being human and growing up is accepting the changes around you, within you, and generally, in life.

CONCLUSION
Deciding to change your career is difficult. But if you know you are unhappy and unwell, do yourself a favor, take care of yourself and do what is best for you. Cliche, do not allow fear hold you back because sadly life is too short and you only live once. Don’t waste it! Life is full of possibilities.

FAQ:

What made you resign your position as a teacher and fellowship?

There are many reasons; the top three reasons though was first to take care of myself because I was living an unhealthy lifestyle. Second, many schools do not have funds for school supplies, and teachers spend their own money. I wound up spending between $300 – $500 a month. Lastly, I was unhappy, and to be a good teacher, you have to like it; it is impossible to teach well if you are pretending to. You are working with children, and they sense everything. 

How long did it take you to get another job?

It took six weeks. I first started a part-time job at a tutoring company because I needed the money while looking for something else. Then after a month working as a tutor, I interviewed for the Administrative position at the Rubin Museum of Art and got the job.

How did you support yourself? Did you have money saved? 

When I decided to quit, I needed time to determine if it was the right decision. So, I took a leave of absence, which still paid me. And yes, I had money saved which helped pay my rent. But, once I definitively decided, I had already accepted my position at the Rubin. 

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4 Reasons and Ways to Practice Gratitude

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Now that we’ve reached the Holiday Season, the first being Thanksgiving, it is the perfect time to begin to practice gratitude. Gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return the kindness. It is correlated with optimism, which in turn makes us happy.

I began to practice gratitude recently. I am not sure why or how all a sudden I had the urge to practice gratitude, but it has been the most effective tool I’ve used so far to embrace who I am.

I urge that you begin to practice gratitude today! It is effortless and does not take much time or energy; however, it takes practice. I guarantee that once you do, you will see improvements in yourself– understand and appreciate life in a different way that you’ve never before.

Below I share four Reason and four ways to practice gratitude. I also include ten things I am grateful for and a simple 21 Days Challenge that I’ve tried when I first started to practice gratitude that takes less than 2 minutes each day to complete.

4 Ways to Reasons to Gratitude

1. Strengthens your awareness

The greatest gift you can give yourself is becoming consciously aware of the beauty and abundance in life. By practicing gratitude, you become aware of the present moment of what is happening right NOW. We learn the necessary acknowledgment that each moment of life is enough, no matter what experience, whether is pleasant or unpleasant.

2. Reduces the habit of complaining

“All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.” – Dennis Prage

People who complain often, don’t know that they are and have no control. Researchers found that our brains and bodies respond more to negativity than positivity, which is why people are prone to complain. Think about how often you complain in a day and what causes the adverse reaction or feeling. Gratitude is the antidote of negativity and complaining. By practicing gratitude, you are automatically able to reduce the habit of complaining by noticing every time you whine and asking yourself, why am I complaining? Is it worth my energy? What are the things at this moment (right now) that I am grateful?

3. Improves your health:

4. Makes you a happier person

Gratitude leads to a more sustainable form of happiness because it is not based on immediate gratification; its a frame of mind. It is an attitude and a way of living that makes you conscious of the simple things. It can even lead you to appreciate all living things nature that makes the earth a livable environment for us humans to live.

4 Ways to Practicing Gratitude

Please note that the list below is in order in the way I started to work on becoming grateful.


1. Writing in a journal daily about the things you are thankful for.

Writing in a journal about the things you are grateful is easy. The hard part is remembering to do it every day and being consistent. After searching for many journals online, the best one I’ve found is The Five Minute Journal. By merely writing three things you are thankful for every day, you will gradually see how much in life there is to appreciate.

 2. Read books about Personal Development


Reading books about personal development can help you form a better understanding of its benefits, providing you with inspirational examples and suggestions of ways you can become grateful. I recommend the following books:

3. Meditation and Mindfulness

It has been found that meditation can reliably increase feelings of gratitude. Practicing meditation every day helps promote a positive mood, hope, and resilience. As we experience positive emotions, our awareness broadens, and our creativity and problem-solving capacities blossom, and we become more effective in whatever we choose to do in life.

4. Expressing and Sharing Gratitude

The ability to consistently experience gratitude is both a cultivated skill and a gift – one that must be shown and shared with others over and over again to realize its full power. You can express and share gratitude by:

  • Being an active listener
  • Being thoughtful to others
  • Being a support system
  • Volunteering your time
  • Saying Thank You

CONCLUSION

Gratitude is a significant component of experiencing happiness. It is a selfless act that is worth practicing because it helps you find meaning in life– your life’s purpose. After reading this blog, start today, start now, and I promise that you will begin to appreciate the simplicity of life and evolve to a happier and healthier person.

10 THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR:

  1. Who I am.
  2. My awesome-strong mother.
  3. My amazing and loving husband.
  4. My job working at the Rubin Museum of Art.
  5. My website and blog.
  6. My best friend, Amy.
  7. My demanding boss whose personality I love.
  8. Paying off my debt.
  9. Living in Astoria, NY.
  10. Living life!

21 Days Challenge

Have trouble listing what you are grateful for? Below I share 21 Days Challenge to start you off!

Day 1 – What sound am I grateful for today?

Day 2 – What color am I grateful for?

Day 3 – What smell am I grateful for?

Day 4 – What texture am I grateful for?

Day 5 – What season am I grateful for?

Day 6 – What in nature am I grateful for?

Day 7 – What emotion am I grateful for?

Day 8 – Who in my life am I grateful for?

Day 9 – What song am I grateful for?

Day 10 – What about my body am I grateful for?

Day 11 – What abilities am I grateful for?

Day 12 – What about my surroundings am I grateful for?

Day 13 – What relationship am I grateful for?

Day 14 – What material possession am I grateful for?

Day 15 – What moment this week am I grateful for?

Day 16 – What about today am I grateful for?

Day 17 – What tradition am I most grateful for?

Day 18 – What hobby am I most grateful for?

Day 19 – What about me am I most grateful for?

Day 20 – What about life am I most grateful for?

Day 21 – What challenge am I grateful for?

Other Related Blogs:

10 Ways To Find Your Purpose

How to Gradually Build Self-Confidence

New Year’s Resolution: Dream Big, Set Goals, Take Action!

10 Reasons Reading Everyday is Important

6 Reasons to Shop at Trader Joe’s

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I started shopping at Trader Joe’s (TJ’S) a year ago. I’ve had avoided buying there before because of how crowded it is. But now, its become my go-to grocery store. The first time I went to TJ’s was for work to buy snacks for a meeting. I filled my shopping cart and only spent $28– way under the budget of $40. I looked at the receipt and noticed how low-priced the items were. And that is what makes TJ’s such awesome grocery store and the reason why it’s always crowded–their reasonable prices of great products.

Trader Joe’s was founded in 1958, originally a convenience store called, Pronto Markets. Over the years they’ve expanded, and there are now almost 500 stores nationwide! They describe themselves as “your neighborhood grocery store.” But how are they’re able to have low-priced items? There are two reasons. First, all their products are bought directly from vendors in volume. Second, unlike other grocers who charge suppliers for putting an item on the shelf, TJ’s doesn’t, which results to their low prices.

I love shopping at Trader Joe’s so much that I live next to a grocery store in Astoria, Queens and still choose to buy at TJ’s in Chelsea during lunch. To then, travel home with two heavy grocery bags on the train, during rush hour! However, I am not the only one– others do it too. If you are not a Trader Joe’s shopper, but looking for an organic or healthy grocery store, I recommend TJ’s! I share below six other reasons to convince you to shop there and why it’s worth it.

1. Great Customer Service!

Since I started shopping at TJ’s I’ve had the best experience. Their employees are always happy and smiling– willing to help, and know where everything is. The cashiers are genuine and often speak to you as they scan and bag your things. Also, their return policy is fantastic!

2. Do not be intimidated by their long lines.

Like I’d mentioned, one of the reasons I never stepped foot in TJ’s was because of the long lines– but, I promise you will never stand in line for more than 10 minutes. The lines move quickly because they make sure to have twenty or so registers open.

3. Spending under $120 (bi-weekly)

Being that I am in debt, spending $140-$160 or more bi-weekly at a regular grocery store, to now spending under $120, is incredible and a relief. If you are frugal as I am and buy only what is necessary, you’ll save and purchase healthy and quality products at TJ’s.

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4. Healthy Macro-friendly food

If you count macros or generally healthy, Trader Joe’s is the best to shop for such food and items. Please click here to direct you to my TJ’s shopping list, which includes the cost for each item, and macro-nutrients.

Click here to read, Health Coach and Blogger, Brittany Mullins’, list of 50 Healthy Trader Joe’s Items that I read in May. She took pictures of all items, which is helpful when trying to find them in store. And if you subscribe to her blog, she’ll email you her Trader Joe’s 7 Day Meal Plan!

5. Environmentally friendly and one-of-a-kind products

A typical grocery store carries 50,000 products, whereas Trader Joe’s stock 4,000 products. At first, I thought I’d mind that TJ’s doesn’t have a variety of brands to select from; but I am okay with it. In fact, I love shopping there because I don’t have to spend time choosing a good enough and affordable brand item. Most of TJ’s products are under its own private label, environmentally friendly, and of great quality. They’re known to phase out any vendor whose item(s) doesn’t do well–

“If an item doesn’t pull its weight in our stores, it goes away to gangway for something else.”

6. It’s a cool, unique, and happy place to shop!

It is great shopping at Trader Joe’s because it is easy to navigate their products even at their most crowded hour. All of their stores are large and open spaced– walls with cedar planks and donned crew in cool Hawaiian shirts.”  TJ’s sell unique-quality products, such as gourmet food, organic food, vegetarian food, frozen food, imported food, domestic and imported wine and beer, personal hygiene products, household cleaners, vitamins, pet food, plants, flowersand so much more! 

CONCLUSION

Trader Joe’s has many locations across the U.S. and still growing. If you do not live near one, make an effort, travel, and begin shopping there! Shopping at Trader Joe’s is worth it and will save you money on great-quality products!

FAQ

How many times a month do you shop at TJ’s?

I honestly go twice a week but during their least crowded hour. 

RECOMMENDED BLOG POSTS:

50 Healthy Trader Joe’s Items + A Trader Joe’s Meal Plan 

Trader Joe’s Macro-Friendly Shopping List

The grocery checklist below is the same one I use on my weekly Trader Joe’s haul. The list is not in order because I’ve added and deleted items over time. On the right column, I list the macronutrients (Fat, Carbohydrates, and Protein), and cost for each item.

What are Macronutrients? Macronutrients (macros for short) are what makes up the calorie content of food. The three categories of macros are fats, carbohydrates, and protein. Getting the right amount of protein, fat, and carbs will determine whether you are building or losing muscle and whether you are putting on or losing fat. We all have different fitness goals, so it is essential to track your macros according to what your goals are. For more information on how to calculate and count macros, please click here.

TJ's Macros list

10 Ways To Find Your Purpose

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1. Live in the present.

Living in the present is difficult, especially for those who are adamant about being in control about all aspects of their lives — living in the present means to live in the moment and concentrating on what is going on at this moment.

2. Reading self-help and spiritual books.

Reading self-help and spiritual books have been a tremendous aid in figuring out your purpose. So many authors have gone through similar experiences. It is refreshing to read about it because it gives you a piece of mind– you are not alone– you are not the only one on this planet going through problems. See the bottom of the page for a recommended list of self-help and spiritual books and podcasts.

Read:10 Reasons Reading Everyday is Important

3. Knowledge is POWER!

The more you educate yourself, the more your general awareness becomes clearer. Reading is a powerful tool because it exercises, challenges, and stimulates your mind and imagination.

4. Meditation

Meditation may be difficult to master at first, but after you put it into practice every day, you become better, and eventually, it will become part of your daily routine.

5. Stay away from negative people.

I am going to share one of the best advice my mom said to me many times growing up: stay away from negative people. They are miserable people that like to make others miserable like them. From what I have experienced in my twenty-seven years of life– my mother is right. I’ve even lost friends because of how pessimistic they view life. I couldn’t bear listening to constant negativity, so I distanced myself. If you have to do the same, do it!

6. No more excuses, be consistent.

When you find excuses not to do something, chances are, you will never come around and follow-through. The key is to be consistency and push yourself. You will notice that after, you will feel good about yourself because you accomplished something. So next time you decide not to do something force yourself and see how good you will feel.

7. Stop comparing yourself.

If comparing yourself know is a problem for you, try to detach yourself from the source, even if it’s ending a relationship or deleting your Instagram for a while. Because at the end of the day, nothing matters, but yourself. Become your biggest fan!

8. Stop trying to impress others.

Of course, you have to impress others at some point, for example, an employer on an interview. But, to always worry about what others think, negates you from living the life you are meant to live. It makes you do things that are not genuine, not you. The only person you need to impress is yourself.

9. Practice Gratitude

Life is not easy, and you should know that by now; however, be grateful– you are alive! You are given the opportunity to live in this universe– take advantage of it. Be thankful for the little things you have. When you practice gratitude, it makes wholesome and leads to feeling peaceful, content, and in the moment.


The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day

Read: 4 Reasons and Ways to Practice Gratitude

10. CONCLUSION: Love yourself, no matter what!

Loving yourself is most important in finding your purpose. You are unique and know there is a reason why you are here– hone who you are and flourish.

SUGGESTED SELF-HELP/SPIRITUAL BOOKS:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change


The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life



Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be



You Are a Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

PODCASTS TO LISTEN TO: 

  1. Melissa Ambrosini 

  2. PURSUIT WITH PURPOSE PODCAST by Melyssa Griffin

  3. Do It Scared by Ruth Soukup

  4. RISE Together Rachel & David Hollis

 

6 Ways Push Yourself to Eat Healthy and Exercise Regularly

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What sparked the ideas to write this blog was a text I received from my best friend Amanda (not her real name) that said, “I’m so unhealthy. I miss the days when I was healthy and 125 pounds.”  Amanda looks great! She weighs between 135 and 140 pounds (5’5 in height) — perfect weight for a twenty-eight year old. But Amanda has the misconception that being thin correlates with being healthy.

Being healthy does not mean you have to be skinny or be a certain weight. Being healthy means that you eat the right amount of nutrients daily and exercise regularly. Fitness trainer and model, Anna Victoria, states in her blog, “Why I don’t Weigh Myself:”

you cannot always tell someone’s health by looking at them from the outside. Someone who is skinny can be even more unhealthy than someone who appears overweight on the outside…”

It took years for me to realize that weight does not matter–that looking skinny does not mean that I am healthy. We all have a different figure, height, and weight; what matters is what makes you comfortable.

Below I share six guidelines to inspire and push you to start living a healthily.

1. It is the 21st century. Many inspirational bloggers could suggest ways of living a healthier lifestyle–and it is all free!

These bloggers share their personal experiences on what they’ve learned and are passionate about it. Find an influencer you could relate. Below are some of the girls I follow that knowledgeable about healthy eating, working out, and more.

2. Start counting Macros.

Macronutrients (macros for short) are what makes up the calorie content of food. The three categories of macros are fats, carbohydrates, and protein. Getting the right amount of protein, fat, and carbs will determine whether you are building or losing muscle and whether you are putting on or losing fat. We all have different fitness goals, so it is essential to track your macros according to what your goals are. For more info, click here.

I learned how to calculate macros from lifestyle blogger and influencer, Claire Guentz. I highly recommend you to read her blog on  “How To Figure Out Your Macros Should Be,”  because it was her blog that influenced me to count macros. I never knew how important it is to calculate your macros, (not just your calories) because WHERE you’re getting your calories from is so imperative.

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3. Start slow and make gradual progress.

It is never okay to start something out rapidly and expect results. Doing that will only make you feel restrained and discouraged. Begin doing what you can. The great thing about counting Macros is that you can sometimes have cheat meals, as long as you eat the right portions.

4. Accountability

Some suggestions to help you be accountable are, writing a contract to yourself, journaling your progress, or promising yourself something that you truly want and then getting it once you have accomplished your goal.

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5. Making delicious recipes and having fun when exercising.

Look for delicious, healthy recipes online. Your diet should not be tasteless or boring. Also, find workouts that you enjoy doing. Don’t force yourself with exercises you dislike. For example, don’t begin running three miles because it is a fast way to lose weight. Other cardio exercises are also practical.

6. Listen to your body– take your time.

Often when starting any diet or health change, your body needs time to adapt. So give it time while it does. Everyone is different, and if your body is taking longer to get in better physical shape, it is okay, don’t give up — be patient and keep working on it and promise you will see results.

CONCLUSION

Living a healthier lifestyle is choice you have to make, but once you do, I guarantee you will look and feel amazing. It is your life, and it is up to you on how to live it. I suggest you become in sync with realistic goals that are right for you and your body.